Why am I doing this again?

So this whole externship thing hasn’t exactly gone according to my carefully laid out plan.  In my perfect world, I would have received three offers from my three requested locations and would have had my pick.  But instead, nothing is a sure thing and I am wondering if I will end up with an externship at all.  Okay, that’s the inner drama queen talking.  I know I will end up somewhere and it will be great but all this uncertainty is really taking a toll on that whole 8 hours of sleep thing.

Living life the way I am at this moment, at warp-speed and consumed with school work and worry for what the future may bring, I sometimes have trouble remembering what the whole premise of this blog was in the first place.  Sure, it is a place where I can vent to anyone (or no one) about the stresses that come with my life as grad school grandma and where I can tell funny stories of the everyday adventures of life in clinic.  But this blog was also supposed to be my daily reminder to live in the moment.  To take advantage of the here and now rather than fretting about the future.  Because really, there is so much life happening all around me right now and it would be a shame if my obsession with making plans for the future caused me to miss even one second of it.  So with that in mind…I’ll leave you with a little quote that I read the other day and found oh-so-appropriate.  I plan on reading it every morning and adopting it as my new mantra.  In addition to “worry less, smile more, and eat more froyo.”  Came up with that one all on my own J 

"I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit." - Dawna Markova